I have debated over the past week whether or not I would publish this post. I have always tried my best to be open and honest on my blog, regardless of the reaction I felt I would get.
This past week we found out that Ryan did not get the job we thought that he would. It has been hard on our family and is an extremely stressful situation that I personally never thought we would be in. We decided the best option for our family is to pack up all of our things and move back to New Jersey to be with family until Ryan finds a job. This all happened so quickly and the movers will take our stuff and place it in storage this Friday. We truly appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers and kind emails you have sent over the past months as we waited to see how things would work out. Although this wasn't how we imagined things happening, we know that God has a plan for us and will provide.
Along with all of the things mentioned above, this week has brought about a lot of pain surrounding the topic of my blog. I have been made fun of or criticized over the past year for things I chose to write about or publish here on this space. Obviously that is never something anyone wants to go through, but I knew it was part of the territory when you make the decision to put your thoughts and feelings out on the internet.
However, over the past week, these people have chosen to target my daughter, saying cruel and unkind things - things I would never want her to read or see later down the road. When you become a mom, you have to make the decision on what you will do when it comes to your children and protecting them and their privacy. When Rilynn was born, I made the choice to share her with the blogging community and the friends I had made over the last year and a half. I was excited and so in love with her and I wanted to share that joy with all of you. But after what has been happening, I have made the decision to pull all of my family's personal and private posts down and transfer them to a private blog.
At this point I do not know how or if I will continue blogging in the future. With everything going on with my family and the added negativity I've experienced lately, I am not sure that this is something that brings me joy anymore. I know I could have just stopped blogging and not even written this post, but I felt it was important to share the truth behind what was happening.
If these were just strangers that were being so unkind, that would be one thing - but if you read these things they are saying, you will see they are fellow bloggers. I somehow managed to upset them in the past and now they are choosing to write these horrible things about me and my daughter, rather than just coming and talking to me personally. These are women who participate in Cara Box. These are women I potentially "know".
I do not know if I will continue with Cara Box in the future. I do not know if I will post frequently or at all on my blog. You may have noticed that I basically "unfollowed" everyone on my Wifessionals Instagram account. That was not personal, but rather me preparing for most likely shutting down my instagram account. If I keep it, it will turn into a private account.
Does this break my heart? Absolutely. I have loved getting to know so many amazing women over the past year and a half through this blog. In times when I was struggling or at a low point, this place has brought me friendship and encouragement. But along with that, it has also brought negativity and pain. Does this post in some ways allow these cruel women "to win"? I guess some people would see it that way. But I wanted to share what has been going on behind the scenes because I AM a human - mean words do hurt and pretending like I "just got bored of blogging" and that's why I quit would be a lie. I think it is sad that people in this community choose to do things like this to others - blogging has the potential to connect so many people and create positive relationships and encouragement among ladies.
To all of you beautiful and sweet women who I have met over the past year and a half, you have been such a blessing to me and my family. Although I am not sure where I will go with this blog in the near future, I will be forever grateful for the opportunities I have had to connect with you.
As my family moves into a new chapter in our lives, my focus will be enjoying our time together with family and friends. I want to make the most of these precious moments I have with my husband while he is home and with our beautiful daughter.
I do not know if or when I will personally blog again, but I felt it was important to share what was going on and what has been on my heart lately.